Clearly, Christmas time has been here for months! I mean, I started listening to Christmas music BEFORE my wedding (this implies that I stopped listening to it at some point – not the point). I put off decorating my Christmas tree until after Thanksgiving, but now I’m writing and looking at my beautiful, fake, six year old Christmas tree with crocheted (by me) stars, silver balls, and white lights.
Tonight, I went to a Christmas dinner with my small group. It was one of the only sit-d0wn-at-one-set-and-decorated-table dinners I’ve been to in my life. During the dinner we were asked a difficult but great question: what have we learned from or about God this semester?
The question struck me in two ways. One: my life does not work in semesters. Even when I was in school, I went online the final three years and it was all year with a single two week long break. I thought, only for a moment, I’m the old one in this group. No worries, I’m over it. Two: that is a loaded question.
It’s loaded with everything in my heart. Everything that I’ve struggled with. All the thoughts that I couldn’t control. All the unkind words that I let slip. All the times that God had to remind me who I was in Him. All the times He had to remind me that I am His and that matters. It matters in every thought and moment. And I had a decision to make.
I sat at a table full of beautiful women all sharing their hearts and answering this question. One by one. Slowly it became closer to being my turn to answer. They were honest. They let me in. They shared Truth.
When it came to me, I told the truth. I let go of the fear of vulnerability. I chose to trust. Trust them. Trust God. I chose to know that it wasn’t just about me. It was about all of us. It was about all of us realizing that it’s all about Him.
I hope that I continue remembering and practicing this Truth during this most wonderful time of the year.