At this time last year (and for quite some time before that) I was playing the waiting game. This is how it looked in my life:
Step One – discouraged. “I want to be married.”
Step Two – impatient. “How long do I have to wait?”
Step Three – realization. “God is sovereign.”
Step Four – repentant. “Lord, forgive me for my discontentment.”
Step Five – content. “I will wait on the Lord. He will give us direction.”
Step Six – distraction. “Another one of my friends is engaged.”
Step Seven – begin again at step one.
It’s a vicious cycle. It’s a tiring cycle. It’s a sinful cycle. It was a chance for me to learn.
The longer that I stayed in my repentant and content cycles, the more full my life became. It wasn’t that suddenly I didn’t want to or didn’t care about getting married, it’s simply that the idea of marriage did not control me. That desire did not ruin my day, my thoughts, or my relationship when I was secure in my relationship with my Father.
Some of my girlfriends tell me that I don’t understand what it feels like to want to be married. Trust me – I do. It’s difficult. So, what will you do? How you react shows what you believe.
So, will you wait and believe that the Lord is sovereign? That He works all things out for the good of those who believe and trust Him? That He knows what is best for you and will ensure you are taken care of because you are His?
Or will you take things into your own hands? Will you allow worry to steal the joy you could have right now? Will you use not being married as an excuse to not be productive in ministry right now?
Really, it’s a choice that I had to make. Over and over and over I had to choose to believe what I know is true – regardless of how I felt at the time. If you’re having a difficult time with this, I would love to hear about it so that I can be praying for you.