Silence

I like noise. I like loud. When there is not music that I am in the mood to listen to, then I want to hear the television. I want someone to talk with me. I like noise.

I like when I can hear doors closing outside. I like the sound of cars driving by. I like when I can hear the music from the car next to me – even when I think their musical choices are obnoxious. The buzzing of the world is good to me.

I like when the birds chirp. I don’t like the storm, but I enjoy the sound of the rain. I like that “mmm” sound my man makes when we cozy up together. I like the sounds of typing on my laptop. I like hearing the chatter in the coffee house as I sit here and write. I like when the cat purrs and the dog barks. I like noise.

I enjoy the sounds of life. The music that the world makes naturally as it happens. Silence makes me nervous.

When everything is silent, the random sounds feel out of place. I hate the sound of the back door slamming in the silence. I hate the sound of the house settling in the night.

But there is something that silence can bring that noise never can. Sometimes, the best thing that I can do for myself is to be silent. Sit in the silence. No music. No television. Early in the morning with my Lord. I have nothing to say, but I can hear. I can listen. The silent times are when the most is heard. The times that I sit and listen and say nothing.

The last month of not blogging, or even trying to, was me sitting in the silence. I sat in the silence to hear before I spoke again. I sat in the silence to listen and learn what He has for me right now. Some of it has been scary – crying on my floor is the only sound I can hear kind of scary. Some of it has been joyful – laughter with friends even when my situation calls for more tears. Some of it has been exciting – new job and a new adventure.

In the silence I’ve heard more than I ever thought that I would. In the silence He’s taught me. In the silence, I’ve leaned in to listen.

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