why i don’t care that you’re not happy

I know it’s a little harsh, but your happiness is not by biggest concern. It’s not that I don’t care at all about whether or not you’re happy. Feeling in such a way that would make you describe yourself as happy is nice. But there’s more. And it’s more important than your good feeling. It’s the Truth.

Chasing the happy feeling is used as a reason to tear families apart. Husbands leave because they’ve “fallen in love” with someone else. Wives leave because they don’t “feel appreciated.” Children are shown that if the situation doesn’t work well with what they think they need to feel their best, then it’s okay to do whatever they want to make the feeling come back. We tell people that we love that all we want for them is to be happy.

Well, that’s not what I want most for the people that I love. What I want most for the people I love is for them to know Jesus. Not only know Him, but experience Him. Experience forgiveness. Freedom. Fullness. Joy.


I want them to know the forgiveness that is available. I want them to know the freedom that comes with discipline. I want them to know how it feels to have old friends that care for each other. I want you know the fullness of joy that comes with a close and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I want all the good things in the world for you. That does not mean “following your heart” and doing whatever feels best. It does not mean taking care of number one. It means knowing the One who created the world. The One who is love.

You want to know what love is like without the strings and the qualifications? Know Jesus. He is the only One who loves completely. He doesn’t depend on my happiness. With Jesus, my husband and I don’t have to follow our feelings. We know that there is more. We know that when we are in relationship with Jesus, we can love each other better. We don’t need to feel gooey all the time to be fulfilled in our relationship with each other. We need most and only to know the One who is Love.

What about you? What do you want most for those that you love?


10 suggestions to help you not crash and burn on your new year’s resolution

Welcome to 2014! Day one. Are you ready? Do you have the “everything is fresh and clean” feeling that usually comes with the new year? I hope so! I hope that you can feel it so that it’s easier for you to start strong! It’s not that you can’t start strong if you don’t feel it, but it’s often easier if you do.

Whether or not you feel it, I have some encouragement for you. Well, what I hope to be encouragement. More like suggestions for helping you not crash and burn on your resolution. Take what you find helpful and leave the rest. This is not a dictatorship.

1. Begin your day with our Savior. I don’t know that this can be exaggerated enough. I know you’ve heard it a million times. Know why? Because it’s important! It sets the tone for your day. It shows God and it shows you Who and what is most important. I begin my mornings with the Hello Mornings challenge (when it’s in season). Groups are available for encouragement and accountability in the time with the Lord. Many devotionals can help with this also. Sometimes it’s just nice to wake up, open your Bible, and read. He will meet you where you are.

2. Make a plan. It’s one thing to say that you want to lose weight, it’s something different to actually do it. Write it down. Have a date by which you want a certain goal met (ex. if you want to redecorate your house, write which room by what date). Then write down what you need to do to make your goal by that date.

3. Put it on the wall. I think this would be fun with a chalkboard wall and big beautiful letters. No matter how you post it up, make sure it’s somewhere that you will see. Every day. If your goal is to floss every day in 2014, a post-it on the bathroom mirror may suffice. I’m going to put the word GRACE in a frame over my dresser.

4. Tell a friend. There’s nothing like accountability to help you continue going.

5. Do something. Every day. Do a task each day to help you reach your goals. If you do nothing, nothing is likely to happen.

6. Turn on the tv. Or open a book. Or go on a walk. Do something fun, relaxing, that has nothing to do with your resolution or goal.

7. Spend time with your family. And your friends.

8. Turn off the tv. Get off the sofa. Put in some work.

9. Learn discipline. This one is the most difficult on this list (beside number ten). The more good habits you get into, the more discipline you learn, the more freedom you have. (ex. if your goal is to read the Bible in a year, read your passages for the day. Even when it’s difficult. Keep reading. That’s how you learn discipline.)

10. Show yourself some grace. This does not mean, it’s okay to quit. It simply means, you are not the devil because you had that slice of cake during your diet. It means that you need to forgive yourself then continue stronger, remembering the guilt you felt was not worth it. I understand this because I have failed before, but He is grace.

There you go! Everyone has made their lists of resolutions or chose their words to define their years. This does not have to be like last year, or the one before, or the one before when you – just like everyone else – made it two weeks into the year before failing. This year can be different. New. Happy New Year!

What is your word or resolution for the year? Which of these ideas do you find the most challenging?