my ruined plans

Life regularly does not work how I plan. I remember the timeline that I made for my life at 16. Then the one I had at 18. Then 21. Then 24. And now. The difference between now and 16 is that I have no delusions (at least significantly fewer) that it will go as planned. Partly because, that’s life. But mostly because my life isn’t about me.

It’s a profound truth that I’ve said before. My life isn’t about me. When I was the most important person in my life, everyone else got the short end of stick. I was the ruler of my own kingdom. It didn’t matter what you thought, felt, said, or did. If I didn’t agree with you – or simply didn’t want to go along with whatever you said – then that was that. I was proud of my selfishness. I wore it as a badge of honor.

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This kind of selfish ambition is still praised in many circles. It’s the “follow your heart” philosophy that we’ve given into so strongly and completely. If I always followed my “heart” – heart meaning my emotions, feelings, whims – then I would have missed out on so much. My man and I fought through some hard times before we were married. We have not had the smoothest of beginnings. But we’ve had so many sweet times that I wouldn’t have gotten to enjoy. If I’d given into my selfishness, I wouldn’t have all the friendships that I do now. I wouldn’t have pursued some of them at all. I wouldn’t know so many wonderful people. I wouldn’t have gotten to know my amazing Savior again.

If I’d given up in the difficult times, then I wouldn’t get to enjoy my life now. So many “ifs…then” moments that I’d miss out on. No one gets to fifty years of marriage without some bumps, bruises, heartbreak, and failed plans. But how sweet is that 80-something year old couple, holding hands, and telling all their stories.

I hate when my plans are ruined (I am the planner type). But when they are being ruined by a God who loves me so that I can be more like him? I say, bring it on. He knows what he’s doing.

How has God ruined your plans to show you how much more he has for you?

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