What is it about being sick that makes me forget that I was ever well? It’s like being stuck in this confusing space between “this isn’t right” and “nothing will ever be the same” – even though I can’t remember what the same felt like. Recently I left work with a temperature over a hundred. Ick. I spent the whole day laying in bed and bingeing on The Blacklist. I ate egg drop soup and Popsicles while my children were kept from me so that they wouldn’t also catch this plague. I was nearly quarantined in my own home and barely functioning. On the second day of horrible congestion and a head that felt like it was going to explode, I was slowly approaching normal again. As my mind cleared up I realized that this is always what happens.
When I have a bad day, I can’t see past it. When my husband and I go through difficult times, I can’t remember when it was ever good. All the times that things went wrong are abundantly clear when things are going badly. My mind is clouded by lies and half-truths. In these times I really need to be reminded that it’s not always like this. Not only is it not always like this, but it’s usually not. I remember the wrong things. If I’m remembering the wrong things the obvious next question is: what should I be remembering?
Jesus. What a Sunday school answer. But really! My only issue isn’t perspective, but that’s one of them. I have to stop looking at myself – especially myself when I’m falling apart – and start looking at my Savior. Remembering what He’s done in saving me and keeping me is an absolute necessity. Suddenly it all looks different. Suddenly it’s not about me and my life and my feelings and my marriage and my whatever. It’s about Him. It’s about His life and His plans and His work in my life. It’s about His glory. If only I could always remember to stop and refocus. Too often I allow a bit of discontent or misunderstanding to turn into full on sin. That’s not where I want to be. That’s not where I’m supposed to be.
These are the moments that I’m so glad that he holds me. I’m thankful that he reminds me of who I am in Him.
How does the Lord remind you of who you are in Him?